Saturday, December 12, 2009

Am I Crazy?

In short, no. I don't appear to be crazy and the most excellent psychologist I saw for a few years in the 1990s never intimated that she thought I was crazy either.

Have I done crazy things? Yes. Have you? Yes.

When your own grandmother is certified crazy, it is perhaps normal to question, at times, your own sanity. When other family members behave as if they were crazy, you question again. I do feel confident that I am not currently crazy. I could have ended up that way, though.

Instead of mental breakdowns, I have been saddled with physical deteriorations that include "brain fog" and a little ADD on the side. I am hypothyroid (too little thyroid hormone) and gluten intolerant and my adrenal glands are kaput. I also started having menopause symptoms at age 30.

I find it telling -- and interesting -- that my stress hormone levels are nearly nonexistent and I have to take medicine to pump back in the cortisol that my crazy life has eaten away.

For some lucky reason, my body started falling apart but my mind stayed together. My grandmother Mimi lost her mind and her bones weakened to the breaking point.

We have so much in common, Mimi and I.

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